| Does a person's core personality significantly change with advancing
age? Do older people become more rigid or set in their ways? Do
they lose their intellectual ability and curiosity, becoming senile
in the process? Do they lose interest in the outside world and become
more selfish? Do their sensitivities and positive attributes as
parents and spouses erode with time, leaving a cantankerous, impatient
and irritable older person to deal with? Scientists have discovered
that an individual's personality and character do not significantly
change with the passage of time and remain surprisingly consistent
from adulthood into old age. The habitual way in which people deal
with life and its challenges remains the same throughout life.
Scientists also found that some things about the person can change.
For instance, advancing age may result in the loss of some energy,
psychic as well as physical, forcing people to slow down when performing
tasks. Interestingly too, scientists found that elderly men become
more caring, emotionally expressive and less authoritative. Women
tend to become slightly more self-assertive.
Research has also revealed that, even in old age, individual differences
remain. For example, some retirees need to stay active in order
to rechannel the energies they used formerly on work or other roleobligations.
Others, however, accept the leisure and freedom that retirement
brings with great equanimity and enjoyment.
Scientists believe that, as people grow older, it is important
for them to remain "bonded" to other human beings, preferably
family members or friends who act as their confidants. Older women
seem to have a greater need to bond than older men, who often substitute
work or recreation for interpersonal relationships. It has also
been observed that loneliness or living alone without a support
network of friends or relatives is extremely stressful for elderly
individuals. Research has shown that being married or living with
others typically promotes greater life satisfaction; strengthens
one's ability to cope with stress; and helps prevent persons from
falling victim to substance abuse and even illness. Keep in mind
that, no matter what age they are, people cannot be uniformly stereotyped.
What has just been said does not imply that an aging individual's
personality cannot or will not change with time. It does mean that
a well person, not afflicted by age-associated disability and disease,
will maintain a high degree of behavioral consistency and continuity
when progressing from middle adulthood into the more advanced years
of life. However, debilitating illness, such as Alzheimer's disease,
not only affects its victim's cognitive and intellectual abilities,
but can also frequently strip away the person's finer character
attributes, particularly in the terminal stages of the disease.
Moreover, elderly who suffer simultaneous disabilities and disorders
frequently receive a variety of medications that can have a markedly
disorganizing impact upon their thinking and behavior. Under these
distinctly pathogenic life circumstances, the elderly individual
becomes a dependent care-receiver. The need for effective and compassionate
care becomes evident, especially to those living in the same household.
Much has been written about how the help and support of families,
friends, neighbors and formal care providers have helped elderly
individuals to: cope more effectively with the stresses of illness
or disability; enhance their feelings of self-worth and value; comply
with prescribed medical regimen, and where applicable, make a speedy
recovery from illness or disease. Although these findings are generally
true, they do, however, mask a much more complicated pattern of
interaction between caregiver and care-receiver, which can contain
instances of negative elements. To be an effective caregiver, a
person must be aware of these negative aspects.
First it should be understood that in being old and ill or disabled,
the individual adopts a social role which is not typical in our
society. Adults, in particular, are expected to be independent and
self-reliant. To be otherwise implies a regression to a lower functioning
level which may have a distinctly negative impact upon the ill person's
sense of self-worth. Older persons are known to be fiercely self-reliant
to the extent that this trait is recognized as a major impediment
to their seeking help. Falling ill and becoming dependent - situations
which, under practically all circumstances carry a negative label
- can be traumatic for the elderly. The problem is further exacerbated
by people who confront their sick or disabled elderly with an unexpressed
conviction that these persons have somehow merited their fate, either
through careless behavior or because of some undesirable personal
characteristic. We are reluctant to admit that suffering and disease
are randomly distributed throughout humankind, and that all of us
are potential care receivers. Within every caregiver, negative views
of the care-recipient may coexist with feelings of compassion. This
is especially true if the care-receiver's condition is long-term
and not expected to improve. As the adult becomes more dependent
and less self-reliant, the caregiver may feel more and more helpless,
resentful, and frustrated with the increased responsibility.
Many people expect a grateful response to their caregiving. Instead,
the care-receiver may respond with the negative feelings of tension,
hostility, and decreased self-esteem, and may even belittle the
helper and the help. Just as the caregiver may often feel negatively
towards the care-receiver, so may the care-receiver respond negatively
toward the caregiver. Like all people, the elderly appreciate their
freedom and independence and when these values are threatened they
will react with anger and try to reassert themselves. This may be
reinforced when caring carries mixed messages. On the one hand,
the recipient feels affirmed; on the other hand, devalued.
Research shows that persons with high self-esteem will not accept
help as willingly as persons with low self-esteem. The reason for
this is clear. Receiving and accepting help carries the suggestion
of having failed, which is an upsetting experience to an individual.
One way to avoid this situation is to allow the care-receiver to
pay back the caregiver with some kind of favor. For gravely ill
or debilitated persons, this tradeoff may not always be possible.
The truly, sensitive caregiver will create an opportunity for the
care-receiver to reciprocate, no matter how feeble the gesture.
This act is invaluable to the recipient's sense of dignity and selfworth
and helps maintain a meaningful interaction.
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