HSPA Language Arts Tutorial Cluster 3: Revising & Editing

Sample 6 - Writing Sample Scoring "2"

The following  writing sample for the Revise/Edit prompt scored a "2"" based on the Revising/Editing Scoring Rubric.  

Scorers made the following comments about the sample below:

This sample scored a "2" because while the editor chose a verb tense and applied it consistently throughout the essay, it is clumsy and at times, incorrect. Text that does not aid in the development of the idea is cut, and vivid language is suggested to develop details. The student does offer rewrites- some scorers may look for a thorough rewrite of the passage for higher scores.