HSPA Language Arts Tutorial Cluster 3: Revising & Editing

Sample 2 - Writing Sample Scoring "4"

The following  writing sample for the Revise/Edit prompt scored a "4" based on the Revising/Editing Scoring Rubric.  

Scorers made the following comments about the sample below:

This sample does a very good job of eliminating unnecessary and distracting details. Sentence structure is sophisticated and varied throughout. Developmental details are moved to more appropriate locations and transitions are used to enhance the overall flow and meaning of the essay. Few errors are missed, and some more vivid language might be included. Some scorers may want students to completely rewrite this selection to score a 4, but it covers all items in the Revising/Editing rubric satisfactorily.